Saturday, September 5, 2009
12th bookout.
2nd last bookout before i pass out from bmtc. feeling a little emo since i'm leaving my new found friends. what's worse is that they're a group of wild friends that i'll definitely want to stay in contact with.
after bookout, shahrul szejin n bingrui came over to my place to breakfast. stayed at my place for a while for a little of rockband. later in the nite, jianxiong yisong n jiahui came over as well. everyone was checking out the pasah malam below my block.
today, sat, didden have the mood to speak/find ppl after i woke up from my afternoon nap. just feel like being alone for a while. sort out my emotions, my thinking and to do some soul searching.
tml sun, i'll b booking in as usual le.
i was reminded of how people come to you when they need help. and when u ask for help/smth in return, they avoid/ignore u or talk you out of it by giving a hundred n one reasons. the world is full of self-centered ppl who only thinks of themselves, thinking of what they'll gain by doing this or that, having the "if there's no benefits to me, i'm out." mentality. i'm a victim of this deadly human virus as well. so what's the big deal about helping others or thinking for others when there's no gain for me?
i guess this sort of thing is inevitable and the only possible solution that i can come up with is to compromise. but what if the compromise is one sided? either the person who usually compromise continues to do it or, it's time to fight back.
but wad's bad about fighting back? it spoils or damage the relationship. the worse thing is that noone seems to be bothered that the bond between ppl are damned. and for the ppl who wholeheartedly cherish the bonding, they'll just shatter and break down.
well. these are just random rantings n thoughts of what i think about life and people around us. staying at home and doing nothing really sucks cos for me, i'll start to think of all these rubbish, worthless thoughts. i'm thinking of having a getaway to some resort overseas alone or with just one or two friends during my block leave to just relax, clear my mind and get out of the busy n ugly reality for a while.
ieverything is fine and that i hope that my next bookout will b nothing but a happy n enjoyable one since it's gonna b the last bookout i have during BMT.
=]
