Saturday, November 21, 2009
yesterday. 20th Nov 2009.
it was the day of our graduation from training wing. i was hoping so much for this day to come, so that i can really know whether i'm gonna post out, or gonna stay here.
i always thought that i'll feel fine, and that i'll just graduate without feeling sad and stuff, but i was wrong. i didden know why, but i felt that even though it was just a short 9 weeks together, i got to know quite a few really good friends and also within these few weeks, although there was some major downtime for me, all of us got kinda closer to each other. or maybe that's from my point of view only.
now that the 12 of us are even-ly spreaded across the 3 bands, although it'll be in the same old millipede-infested place, but still, it's gonna be different from now on. i'm so gonna miss, or rather treasure, some of the times spent in the training room or various ip rooms for some of u.
batch 81 is great. although we're all of different personality, i'm glad it was fun for the past 9 weeks.
=]
i just hope we will never lose contact.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
yesterday was bad,
today is great,
tml will be better,
i hope.
it's just questions after questions.
that's wad happened to me during major breakdowns.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
anyway.
forgot to post about last weekend.
last sat, 7/11. i met up wif my sectionmates back from bmt. i dun realli recall wad we did but, i guess, the usuals, walk ard, eat, i dont think we caught a movie bah. lol. c la.. no photos is like that de. cant recall liaox. LOL. opps. anyone remember pls tell me okay? lol.
last sun, 8/11. i had nth on the whole day, so i tot i'll take a walk ard cityhall ard to ease my boredom. yi yang was nice enuff to agree in joining me for this meaningless walk. lol. well, we went ard, looking at clothes, cd-es, books. then we ate at justacia, which was quite newly opened at marina square. the place is much much cozier than the one at dhoby ghaut exchange. afterwhich we went over to esplande's library so that yi yang can read his newspaper. i'm not a fan of reading, and i don't know why. haha. anyway, b4 we went off, yi yang did a tarot card reading for me.
my question was, "will i find love?" (machiam despo for love ah... lol. =X)
the reading went like, there'll be a girl, in my workplace, through or is a friend and it'll be a smooth relationship. somehow, it turns out that it's all good cards. which is good i guess, but i'm just wondering if it's a one sided love, or a mutual one. cos sadly for me, it's a 100% one-sided til now. hahaha. i juz hope i find someone that i love, who is willing to love me back as well. =]
anyway, although i brought a camera, we didden took any photos, i guess i was quite quiet (surprising yeah?) that day and there wasn't any right time to take photos bah. lol.
these few days have been fun i guess. 
thursday, i caught 'paranormal activities' with yiyang, hazmi, russell, nicholas, jinkun and joshua. it's kinda nice. but to me, it was a different type of scare factor, which i'm newly exposed to and i realised that i'm doing alrite coping wif it. it's a 3.5/5 movie. but for it's real-ness. it can get up to 4.5/5. it seems to work on some of my friends who watched this movie tgt. anyone who can't slp at night or feels bothered, feel free to give me a call bah. =]
yesterday, friday. i went and catch '2012' with batch 81 mates again. this time, everyone except russell n david was there. we slacked, chatted, camwhored at subway, b4 catching the late 10.40pm movie. the movie was great, and it 's somehow depressing at certain parts to me. it's a nice 4.5/5 movie i guess. what's more to a good movie then catching it with some of the greatest friends that you have. so do catch it ppl. =]
i guess it's just movies after movies. lol. sorry fidah who wanted to watch paranormal activities wif the boys( one of the 2 is me. =]). i'll watch again if u got time to. =P and paiseh kevin & my sec sch mates who is watching 2012 today, i was asked slightly earlier.
time flies, i'm at my last week of training wing with batch 81. even if i fail in the end, it wouldn't be the same. it's was a rough start. but sooner or later, i realised that there's a good bunch of ppl here that i can be friends with. thanks the whole batch for the experience given, good/bad. and i really liked how things worked out this few days/weeks, as long as everyone is happy, i guess i'll be happy.
=]
Friday, November 13, 2009
today,was a little too much for me.
infatuation.?
i don't think so.
but, as long as everyone's happy,
it's alrite yeah?
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Sadness.
Definition: an emotion characterised by feelings of disadvantage, loss and helplessness.
Definitedly, in our life, there will be moments that we feel sad over certain matters, be it feeling that oneself is on a losing end, loss of a loved one or a good friend or just feeling useless. I feel that it is times like this that one should actually speak out to others. Even though your family or your friends might not be able to solve anything, it is always good to have one or two people to share your worries with. You might think I'm evil, spreading sadness around, thats why, find people you know that by talking to them about emo stuff will not affect them that much.
A quote by Jim Rohn,
"The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keeps out the joy."
The walls in this case, i would interpret it as the masks that all of us inevitably wear every single day. We wanna hide our sadness, but what do we gain by doing that? Nothing. Life will get so stagnant and boring because when you are hiding your sadness with a smile, you will never get to experience the real joy of smiling or laughing, real happiness.
Another quote that I'm guilty of, by Tom Gates,
"Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt."
Definitely true. I'm guilty of this "crime" lots and lots of time already. And 75% of the few times that I get angry or show anger to someone is honestly, this. Maybe it's just the easier way out, shut everyone off by showing or even faking that you're angry with them/him/her. I guess i'll have to try/attempt to change this bad habit of mine. =/
Don't worry that you're all alone in this world, because you are definitely not. There are so many loved ones around that cares for you. I'm not saying that everyone i know cares for me, my skin isn't that thick to say so, but it is a fact that there'll be some out there. Don't bother thinking whether people do care for you, whether they think of you or cry for you, just carry on or even 'improve' towards having a better relationship with them.
A very true quote, from African Proverb quotes,
"Sorrow is like a precious treasure, shown only to friends."
I think what makes a difference between close friends and just friends is whether one will or will not share what his worries are. Yes, one might not want to affect his/her friends with his/her worries, but realised this, that is what family and friends are for, being there when you're down and everything. If there's anything thats making you down, just give me a chance and if anyone needs free hugs, i'm all fat and ready. lol.
=]
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Happiness. .......................................................................................................... Like the small quote in this poster over here. By Mother Teresa. "Joy is very infectious; therefore, be always full of joy." I guess all I can do is be there for them, but if I can't do anything to help, I'll have to stay joyful, and hopefully some happiness from me will be able to "spread" to them. So to all my friends who are feeling down, I hope that I will be able to make you smile again, just like how you make me smile when I'm down. =]
Definition: a state of mind of feeling characterised by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.
However, one can never be happy all the time in their lives. There will always be ups and downs. It is actually, these little or even major ups and downs that makes life more interesting, and occasionally, or rather most of the time, it make one self strong than ever.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
i changed my blog song. "smile" To anyone that i didden mentioned, worry notz, becos as long as u know it, it's sufficient. Thank you fate, for letting me know these people who brought smiles and good memories into my life. i'm 20 years old le. 20 years of meeting new people. From completely strangers to the relationship we have with each other at the time we met, it's just wonderful. So, to all my family n friends out there, forget about your worries and think of happy memories, sooner or later you'll find yourself free of troublesome thoughts and simply, smiling to yourself. =]
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, Sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head, Spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile.
Many things in life are unpredictable. It's inevitable that there are ups and downs in life which makes a person depressed. However, there are things in life that simply just brighten up your day.
a sentence from someone you love,
an sms from a long-lost friend just to ask how you are doing,
a simple conversation with a very good friend,
a hug from a family member/friend,
a facebook comment,
a smile.
All these things are just so wonderful once you receive them.
...........................................................................................................
This song and post is dedicated to all my family members and friends. (AMMo=and many more.
People who made me smile,
family: mom, dad, annica(sis), albert(broinlaw), sokping(cousin), sean(cousin), wenqi(cousin), AMO
childhood friends: koonlong, kimkeat, AMMo
pri. sch. : liangzhi, shixuan, derrick, guoping, erick, kuokwei, terence, AMMo
sec. sch.: kevin, jiahui, kenneth, jasmine, stanley, jason, eric, AMMo
30th NCO camp: evelyn, haojie, aizat, audre, hongsheng, AMMo
gm band: judith, jianxiong, rachel, boonkai, songying, yingyin, waimin, qabir, liyi, shiyun, emmeline, xinyi, diana, woonlyn, kitying, ruiling, joan, kwangliang, cheryl, AMMo
1st 3 months tpjc/tpjcband: clayder, luke, adele, akbar, grace, shimin, amanda, chonghui, jessica, xinni, AMMo
dict: yanting, pelvin, pearlyn, joshua, junyong, justin, zhengyang, limdar, kokleong, jeanna, grace, faizah, nicholas, AMMo
sp band: rafidah, nicholas, wendy, jinkun, shichun, mega, darryl, priscilla, doris, gwean, huiqi, suhaila, aloysius, alvin, hongkai, tiacwoo, stephanie, yuting, AMMo
pacificcoffee: sedah, albert, ming, shuting, fidaus, fidah, noel, AMMo
ibm: matthew, aikchun, geraldine, wallace, huiling, AMMo
bmt: wilson, shahrul, hanjin, wangjun, daniel, vincent, ivan, shengyang, bingrui, dunang, szejin, AMMo
safband: yiyang, hazmi, loy, nicholas, russel, joshua, keith, david, hongghee, AMMo to come.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
exhausted by the meaningless life of mine.
Friday, October 16, 2009
where?
who?
why?
what?
when?
how?
questions keep popping like tml's gonna b the last day of my life.
i truely miss the times together. the past is juz full of memories that is just so wonderful that my current "routined life" failed to provide. guess this is the life of a working adult & uuuurrrggggg, it sucks.
friends who are still studying now. please DO TREASURE ur time when in studies.
=/
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
lol. sorry for long time no posting. =X 
lol. we ordered this hawaiian pizza, cos INITIALLY we tot the portion will b very small cos yt heard that it's small portion. LOL. in the end we realised that our own main dish is big enuff, not only that, the pizza is HUGE as well!! so how?? bo bian, slowly eat lor. lol. =X
kk la, thats all for this super freaking long post. hahahahaha.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
hey all. to our surprise, there's actually a club on level 7 of iluma, this club is in a very big open space and we can c the disco lights and the live screening of fc channel from the arcade next door. hahahaha. today, sun, met up wif sharul, ang, bingrui and ivan at bedok for meal to meetup and talk about our new units. hahaha. i realised my unit is very "boring", nothing much to talk about yet. lol. we ate at pizzahut. they have this new pasta selections thingy that is very hot now, i tried the fish in tomato cream sauce n i find it, poorly done. rating probably juz 2/5?? haha, so pizzahut is still better with producing pizza i guess. =] tml's monday and it's another 5 days of work for me again b4 the weekends. hope i find this week to be more meaningful and interesting. aso, dear readers, if there is any to begin with, pls TAG MY TAGBOARD!! DYING!!! lol. =]
the corn soup and the salad that came with every set meal we ordered.
my side is ebi gratin, which is backed penne wif prawn.
his side, seafood curry rice.
tiramisu parfait!! ownage.!! XD
a more "everyone's here" photo.
Monday, September 21, 2009
2nd half of my block leave. i continued by walking over to suntec, took a look at the games convention but too bad everything was alrdy about to close as it was getting late. nonetheless, saw DJhero, was quite soso nia lehz... then marina square, shopped ard marina square, and also settled my dinner at the foodcourt above marina square. had this teriyaki chicken set from the japanese food stall. it was quite nice, if the portion of the chicken over the batter was higher. LOL. when the night falls, it's time to checked out clark quay. walked over from esplanade to check it out. the smell of alcohol was like everywhere alrdy when i reached there. lol. then afterwhich i sort of got lost while trying to find the entrance to raffles place mrt station, which i eventually did and i went off to changi airport. thruout the whole day, it was juz me and my hp/mp3player. it was kinda cool, walking alone on the streets, observing what other ppl do, dress and say. i would say, it's always good to go out alone once in a while to think things thru and to observe wad other ppl are doing. it was a nice experience. =] -------------------------------------------- today, mon, nth much except that i met jeanna for brunch at some "i dun rmb the name" place to eat. the food n environment was quite nice and the weird thing is, the shop's cashier is one road away from the eating area. lol. then it's juz some random walking/shopping. was looking ard for a bag to use while in my new unit, and eventually i bought this. a timbuk2 bag. it's quite big i guess and according to mr tyt, crumpler copied timbuk2's design. so yeah, eventually got this one cos it was bigger. lol. wanted to get smth red but in the end, this juz caught my eyes. then it's off to relax n chat at suntec's starbucks. lame n slow as usual, chatted, laughed, lamed n stuffs. hahaha. n we realised alot of times, our friends are surfacing talking to ppl whom we know. lol. k la, tml's the 1st day of my new unit life. for those who still dunno, i got posted to saf band as a musician. this means i'll continue playing my french horn for as long as i serve the band there. lol. to all my section mates and platoon mates from bmtc, wish all of you the best in whichever unit that u're posted in. and i hope we'll all have a major gathering n meet up real soon in future. =D so til the next time i post smth, KEEP TAGGING!! =]
sat, didden go anywhere or do anything. at nite, went over to yt's side to take games from him, managed to get ninjagaiden, infamous and prince of persia from him. had a short little dinner session with him at his market there b4 i take my leave and he go back to his friend's place to watch soccer. sorry for the sudden decision to collect the games from u and thank you for taking some time out off watching soccer to pass me the games. =]
sun, in the morning, jianxiong came over to get the basketball i lent him pumped up. along with that we had a little basketball session at my area. it's been so so long since the both of us play basketball. i think sec 3 was my last time playing i think. hahahaha. both of us have true-ly rusted in any possible basketball skills we have. LOL. afterwhich we had breakfast at my market and off he went for work.
at the airport, i wanted to rest my nite over at terminal one's pcc, but i realised that the area is under renovation, so i went to my backup area, which is the starbucks at terminal 2's departure hall. however, there were many many students studying at the starbucks, which lead me to my final decision of going home. so my solo nite out plan was "destroyed".
Saturday, September 19, 2009
WOOHOO!! I POP-ED!! on wed. well, today is saturday, 3rd day of my 5days block leave. including today, i'll have 3 more days to enjoy normal civilian's life. hahaha. i need to come out wif smth to do and of cos a day for me, myself and only myself. =] too bad, it seems like all my overseas plan for this block leave have been cancelled for various reasons. sian, that mean i'll b stuck in singapore for a while. sian. lol. i'll have to come up with smth for these 3 days bah, which i have a rough idea of wad to do alrdy. hahaha. k la. i'll b back to update the remaining 3 days on monday, if there's anything exciting or worth mentioning that is. until then.. =D
it was a parade "straight" after the grueling 24km route march. but i think wad matters is that i'll miss my bunkmates and plt mates. it's been a great 15 weeks of my life, and i think i'll miss alot of things. okay. enuff emo chats. let the photos do the talking.
it was nice meeting up after such a long time, if i'm not wrong the last gathering we had is at downtown east chalet months or even a year back. lets hope we have more gatherings in future and that more of our classmates will be able to make it for the gathering. =]
Sunday, September 13, 2009
13th bookout. (LAST ONE!!)
this day finally came. this wednesday marks the end end of my 1st 15 weeks of military life in tekong. this coming wed, my passing out parade. i'm gonna separate from my bunk n platoon mates le. i hate goodbyes but it juz keep coming one after another, so no use keep thinking about it. hope that i'll survive the 24km march n have a good pop on wed. =D
yest, which is sat, went to comex wif kevin, jasmine, her brother n stanley. they all went earlier to comex to walk ard but i only join them at a later time for dinner. i went to this newly opened place at suntec, cafeteria li lido. it's not bad, the pricing is not bad too, however portion is abit small for the meats. the pasta are still quite well portioned. out of 5 stars i'll probably give ard 3.5 or 4??
after the meal, something that might shocked u(if there's anyone readin, pls tag, tagboard very dead liaox.), i went to zouk/phuture wif jasmine rachel n kevin. it's was, well, noobishly, my 1st time going clubbing. hahahaha. well,i dun really like the idea of wasting money on going club, but it's still okok bah, quite an experience i had. maybe juz go once in a few months, not like 3/4 times a month, which is to me, dumb n waste money. lol. there are quite a number of photos, they're on facebook alrdy, go and take a look bah. =]
my bunkmates mentioned that i dont seem to b smiling too much now. me myself have no idea y, but i seem to be feeling moody for the past 1/2 weeks and somehow lost much motivation/drive to smile. n somehw at times when i talk, it's like purposely finding faults/"mistakes" to talk about or talk in an unruly/demanding manner. it's been bad, n it's getting worse. if this gets on, i think i'll lose my friend. it's not the 1st/2nd time, it's happening yet again, i regretted it the previous time, n i hope the chemicals in my body do me a favor n stop this rubbish now. =(
so to anyone who is reading this whom i offend/disappoint recently, i'm sorry. give me some time, n the old darren will b back.
i promise. n i'm sincerely sorry.
.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
12th bookout.
2nd last bookout before i pass out from bmtc. feeling a little emo since i'm leaving my new found friends. what's worse is that they're a group of wild friends that i'll definitely want to stay in contact with.
after bookout, shahrul szejin n bingrui came over to my place to breakfast. stayed at my place for a while for a little of rockband. later in the nite, jianxiong yisong n jiahui came over as well. everyone was checking out the pasah malam below my block.
today, sat, didden have the mood to speak/find ppl after i woke up from my afternoon nap. just feel like being alone for a while. sort out my emotions, my thinking and to do some soul searching.
tml sun, i'll b booking in as usual le.
i was reminded of how people come to you when they need help. and when u ask for help/smth in return, they avoid/ignore u or talk you out of it by giving a hundred n one reasons. the world is full of self-centered ppl who only thinks of themselves, thinking of what they'll gain by doing this or that, having the "if there's no benefits to me, i'm out." mentality. i'm a victim of this deadly human virus as well. so what's the big deal about helping others or thinking for others when there's no gain for me?
i guess this sort of thing is inevitable and the only possible solution that i can come up with is to compromise. but what if the compromise is one sided? either the person who usually compromise continues to do it or, it's time to fight back.
but wad's bad about fighting back? it spoils or damage the relationship. the worse thing is that noone seems to be bothered that the bond between ppl are damned. and for the ppl who wholeheartedly cherish the bonding, they'll just shatter and break down.
well. these are just random rantings n thoughts of what i think about life and people around us. staying at home and doing nothing really sucks cos for me, i'll start to think of all these rubbish, worthless thoughts. i'm thinking of having a getaway to some resort overseas alone or with just one or two friends during my block leave to just relax, clear my mind and get out of the busy n ugly reality for a while.
ieverything is fine and that i hope that my next bookout will b nothing but a happy n enjoyable one since it's gonna b the last bookout i have during BMT.
=]
